cheers to hollywood

hollywood

i wanted to write a blog entry commemorating my friend hollywood.  he passed away a year ago today. we had an interesting relationship.  one that developed in the strangest of circumstances.  both having lost our sight as adults, we became friends while bumping elbows at the lunch table of our 'rehab' center...the conversations would mostly center around us making fun of ourselves and how we failed to navigate from one destination to another or messed up in the kitchen or read so slowly in braille class that we put our teacher to sleep.

i have been re-reading the emails that we exchanged over the years and thought of sharing them so others could understand the person i knew him to be.  but, i knew he wouldn't really want that sort of attention...he wasn't that guy.  he was humble. he was unassuming.  he was the guy who made the quiet funny jokes ...he was the 'everyone's friend'. he didn't steal attention, he didn't want it. he was easy.  he wanted things simple. for himself. for everyone.  he wanted life to be happy for himself, for others.

he was my quiet, loyal, cheerleader of sorts, wanting to see my dreams come true as much as i did.  he was only a few years older than my oldest son. he always seemed to understand what i didn't about the conflict in our house between me and my boys...he was there with a ready ear and a laugh. the laugh was for me.  always for me.  
his friendship made me a better mother.  his listen brought me closer to my boys.

weary traveler

we both loved music, enjoyed the concert scene...well, some concert scenes...i still can't believe i got talked into going to the '9 inch nails' concert....

sisco

we also liked movies, beepball and jeopardy and he adopted me into his circle of influence both as a friend and personal chef (lol). my idea of 'cooking night' was teaching hollywood a new recipe (i also wanted to make sure my friend wasn't just eating warmed up frozen pizza's while on chemo)...i think his idea was to enjoy a home-cooked meal even if that meant he had to put on an apron, boil some water or fry up some burger and endure watching american idol from time to time.  we'd invite our 3rd amigo, sisco 
to join us...he was the official taste tester...

both sisco and i were amazed by his incessantly positive outlook.

at the time, i didn't think anything of it really. just hollywood being hollywood. but in hindsight, i can't help but hear this young man smiling in each moment that was in front of him and offering the same to others:

"Annie,

Well, things could really be going a lot better.

I Had 2 seizures a couple of nights ago.

The first one happened while I was lying on the couch watching the Twins game.  The other while I was in the kitchen talking with my parents, right after we got home from the hospital from the first seizure.

We aall got to bed at about 4 in the morning so yesterday was pretty much a resting day for me.

Igo to Rochester tomorrow, so the timing with that is good, I guess.

I’m not sure about Beep Ball yet on Saturday, but that will all work itself out.

Hopefully you have been having a better time than I have!

I feel great today, so look out world!

Anyways, have a good one!

Hollywood"

my dear friend has been gone a year now.  he has left me with the desire to be a better person...i want to walk with a lighter heart, see the humor, be more forgiving, less serious, more playful, less judging...he also reminds me to stay connected to those who are important, friendships are an investment- don't take them for granted

i love you and miss you hollywood

always, 

annie (aka a-bomb, ia, grannie annie, gmom, annabelle)

for those of you who have lost a loved one or know someone who has lost a loved one, check out: the dragonfly project 

http://www.dragonflyproject.org/

(a message of hope for those who are grieving)

"In the bottom of an old pond lived some grubs who could not understand why none of their group ever came back after crawling up the lily stems to the top of the water.  They promised each other that the next one who was called to make the upward climb would return and tell what had happened to him.  Soon one of them felt an urgent impulse to seek the surface; he rested himself on the top of a lily pad and went through a glorious transformation which made him a dragonfly with beautiful wings.  In vain he tried to keep his promise.  Flying back and forth over the pond, he peered down at his friends below.  Then he realized that even if they could see him they would not recognize such a radiant creature as one of their number. 
 

The fact that we cannot see our friends or communicate with them after the transformation which we call death is no proof that they cease to exist." 

by Walter Dudley Cavert